Let's stop already! Can you even hear me anymore? Does my opinion or pain matter? Is the sound of your own narcissistic voice still drowning out my cries for help? Do you feel comfortable with yourself? Your self embellished, hierarchal view of how life in general shall be and who should serve you during every waking moment while those who suffer on a daily basis are but a mere spec of dust on the spectrum of mediocrity in your world. The pony show you put on for the business colleagues, friends and family who think that we have the picture perfect relationship yet I know what life is truly about. How did we get here? Oh wait, I digress so let's go back to the beginning of the never-ending, metaphorically torturous "Mulberry Bush" to shine a light on the faux pas and rarely discussed topic of Domestic Violence which thankfully holds an entire Month of much needed awareness in October.
A quick statistic for you:
Women are much more likely to be victims of intimate partner violence with 85 percent of domestic abuse victims being women and 15 percent men.
Domestic Violence comes in various forms and isn't strictly physical. Abuse can also include mental, emotional and also financial which is a term coined "the purple purse". That may be an outdated phrase yet a real form of abuse.
I am passionate about this writing because my life has been deeply touched by some area of domestic violence at one point over it’s course or another and it seers me when I see it take place, hear of it or sense it. When one knows the pattern of an abuser or can "feel" a victim; having been a victim then my empathy kicks into high gear and also that fight instinct. I will never overstep my boundaries as it is not mine to do yet I wish nothing more than for each and every person I meet in this world to encounter one: a deep self awareness and knowledge of who they are and to love who they are and then second: I wish freedom for them in every area of their lives. That is my life's purpose. Love and Freedom. I am extremely realistic in the fact that many are unable to change their circumstances immediately for whatever reason and have no choice but to live with the abuser (please don't judge this statement for unless you are in a DV situation you have no idea what this is like and how to actually get out). I would like to assist in offering ways to rebuild your self-esteem while in the place from "here to there" so you can learn to love YOU again. I do this through blogging my personal stories and those of other warriors. We share our struggles, strengths, trials and also triumphs. We hold close to each other, faith, if faith is not for you then coaching techniques and other resources are offered. As I always say, you are treasured, you are valued, you are LOVED! If you take away nothing other that phrase today then I feel somewhat accomplished here.
Chronic Illness is a beast! It rears its ugly head whenever it chooses to. The kind, compassionate souls who once looked upon us with eyes aglow can easily seem to fade away and one day it all explodes as if the pin from the grenade has just fallen out. There is never, ever an excuse for domestic violence of any kind. I want you to please hear me and hear me well. I have experienced this even in high school being picked up and literally dropped on the floor by a double black belt who claimed to be "the Dragon" - sweet Mercy! The 'I'm sorry' jewelry, weekly flowers on one particular day of abuse followed like clockwork. Wow! We are going to bring flowers on the day of an abuse as if to habitually apologize or is to memorialize your abuse date? Thank God for Freedom!
Regardless, never is there an excuse or makeup gift GREAT ENOUGH to apologetically erase the abuse! It isn't going to happen. Typically, I try to ebb and flow eloquently through my writings yet this topic is extremely raw, gritty and needs to be addressed without flowery words because quite frankly there isn't anything eloquent or flowery about this topic! No amount of Vera Wang nor Guerlain or Old Spice could ever make this easier to wear and no one would choose to. I can tell you that from experience.
Chronically ill patients seem to battle Domestic Violence on a greater scale as I notice being within these communities for quite some time now. Why is this? Why is it necessary to constantly place an undue pain upon the people who are already in unnecessary pain? This is cruel and unusual punishment. Now, I know and understand that the abuser is sick mentally and emotionally. I understand that they need a check up from the neck up (and the some) and should obtain some serious anger management and psychiatric counseling services to start amongst other things. This does not make it right; this makes it somewhat palatable.
My hope and my desire is this: IF you are or know someone who is #chronicallyFabulous (or perhaps you are well) and you either are in a situation of Domestic Violence or ever happen to find yourself in this situation always remember these things:
* It is NOT your fault and you did not do anything to incite this
* You can get out if you choose to face fear and seek services in your area
* Once you leave - the hardest part is not the leaving...it is the “not going back”
* If you cannot leave for whatever reason then possibly find a way to go to personal counseling or find a friend who can listen to you and help encourage you through this journey. We are out there and you are never alone
* You are treasured, You are valued, YOU are LOVED
* You are worth more than you know and have a purpose inside of you. You can do whatever you put your mind to. Remember that. Hang in there.
Here is National Hotline in case you need immediate assistance
National Domestic Violence Hotline
#DomesticViolence #Awareness #BeHeard #SilentNoMore #Encouragement #PreparetobeFree #FreeLife #October #BeYOUtiful #FacetheFear #StandStrong #GPNation #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #NotINVISIBLE #BreaktheSilence #YouareLoved