New year, new groove or was it? I woke up this morning with a migraine so intense that I was fully prepared to head to the ER and I began to run through my script, "Why are you here, ma'am?" or "What do you normally use for your migraines?" and the usual "Did you eat anything that may have triggered your migraines?" as if to imply I brought this upon myself and am now wasting their time.  I decided I would battle this out at home because I was in no mood to deal with the condescending glances of yet another physician who may have marked my chart as a potential drug seeker and I most definitly was not subjecting myself to harsh treatment or being berated by someone who has never experienced that pain of a migraine let alone a simple headache.  Thankfully, a twenty-four hour pharmacy was able to find one refill of my migraine medication and by 3 0'clock I was feeling somewhat "human" again. 

During my down time and in between "sleep and awake" I pondered as I often do.  Another new year; another new day with a chronic condition...many chronic conditions! My visual memory log swept over the years gone by and I smiled as I clearly saw a healthier me working out in the gym, gardening and replanting every season with new flowers I would choose carefully to catch the eye of those who drove by our home. Gardening was always a passion and a form of release for me as was playing the piano and singing at our local church.  I was once a prominent figure as a local worship leader and the first grade children's teacher on Wednesday nights.  I worked full time and earned my certication as a Career Coach with a Life Coaching supplement and Work as a Spiritual Path.  I was filled with vibrant life and joy was ever on my lips.  I gave to those in need, volunteered as often as I could, and at one point held the honor of being on the Board of one of the Arts Programs in a city nearby. Life was invigorating and I captured every moment I could while teaching my son to do the same. 

As I curled up in bed,  pleaded  and prayed for this migraine to release, I thought of where I am now and I have to say that I have no regrets with this illness.  This sounds so bizarre laying in a cold dark room, waiting for the migraine medication to take effect, with ice pack number four wrapped around my neck, I know. I slowly flipped through the catalogs of my journey over the last seven or so years and time and time again I was reminded of something I wanted to pass along.  A key that I feel is powerful and has carried me through this journey.  It is gratitude!

I have been asked too many times to count how do I do it? How do I remain so positive while battling all that I do? How do I manage in the midst of not only Gastroparesis but also chronic migraines, neuropathy in my feets and legs, osteoarthritis that riddles most of my body, a hernatied neck with compressed nerve and facet damage, bulging discs in my back and nerve damage there as well, fibromyalgia, pots, reynauds, scoliosis, chronic nausea and fatigue, paralyzed intestines, IBS-CIC, seizures and so on.  We could be here all day! There are hundreds of thousands of people across this world who have illnesses worse than I and I am deeply sorry for their pain. I would not wish pain or illness of any kind upon anyone.  We don't overcome by simply ignoring, avoiding or even saying "I'm going to be positive today" and this will make my life better.  We need a daily system of tools and mechanisms that we practice and then live out. I cannot speak for everyone, but since I have been asked frequently, I felt I would share.  To that, I firmly believe that each one of us can make a difference in the  life of another if only we would be willing to release what we have within us.  What have you been through? What have you conquered? What have you overcome? What piece of wisdom can you pass along to those in need? Think you can't make a difference while being chronically ill? Hear me when I say you have a purpose and a plan. Dig deep (for some perhaps just below the surface) and you have exactly what someone has been looking for to be set free. 

For me, this is how I live my life, before and moreso, with chronic illness:

* Build relationships - Understand that a strong friendship does take time and work on both sides.  I have heard it said that if you have five loyal and true friends during your lifetime then you are exceedingly blessed.  Take the time to cultivate your relationships and be wise with those you allow into your inner circle.  Be honest, open, loyal and trustworthy.  I never make a decision about one of my friends and especially will not treat them differently based upon anyone else's experience either.  I can talk to my friends about anything. They know my heart. True friends will last a lifetime, I guarantee.  

* Steer clear of martyrs or what I call the "chess players" - I am sure we have met one or two over the course of our lives.  These pieces of personal wisdom aren't aimed at any one particular genre of people, mind you.  I once was close to a woman before I became ill and she was quite the "player". Her favorite game was the "one up" game. Her world was not complete unless chaos or conflict was up front and center.  From her house, her job and even her car; everything was a mess.  She, internally, was a mess.  It eventually brought turmoil, chaos and tore the very fabric of our friendship apart. I felt a great release when she parted.  Be mindful of people, places, things, doctors, organizations; even relationships that your children have with others -- anything that isn't bringing you up will eventually bring you down. Take inventory of how you feel before, during and after you are around any of the above mentioned and more. That is a tell tale sign of whether or not change is at hand. Follow your peace. 

* It's not all about positivity! I'm often criticized for being so cheerful, but the fact is I literally was born this way. Even my MBTI (Meyers Briggs) and Enneagram shows I look on the sunny side up. I am an enthusiast; however, that alone won't get you through.  Someone once said, "What you focus on the longest will become the strongest in your life". Powerful words indeed. Even on my worst days, like today. Pain was high, I felt extremely nauseated and weak.  I was not in a position to mentally "go" yet I have the tools and I know how to put them into practice.  I placed my focus on the attitude of gratitude. Chronic illness is horrible. Yes, it is; however, the overwhelming knowledge I have gained about this illness has been priceless.  The friendships I have made are immeasureable. Because I am chronically ill I am right here within these communities sharing my backstory of childhood abuse, trauma, alcholism, drug abuse, divorce, miscarraige, overcoming those things, building my faith and redefining my purpose within this new body realizing that I have an illness..I am not an illness. Meditation, CBT (cognitive behavorial therapy), talk therapy, support groups, close knit friends that I can vent to and who grant wisdom right back in return are all vehicles that allow for a healthy release so we can all thrive each and every day! Couple all of that with a healthy and positive outlook and you are in the best position each and every day. Don't ever let anyone tell you how to live your life. This is about you, not them. 

* Letting go - If you cannot change it then let it go! This is and will be extremely cathartic for many. Letting go applies to every area of our lives. We have all heard the catch phrases: "you can't cry over spilt milk", "you can't unscramble eggs" and so on. Exactly, There is no point in stressing out over things that cannot be changed, especially people and their unhealthy behavior.  If it's not serving you a healthy purpose in your life, then I encourage you to take your power back and release the toxin.  Gain some spoons and do whatever you need to to keep them. During one of our LIVES we discussed the fact that we cannot just cut off or let our family go. True.  What we can let go of is the toxic emotions or negative emotional wakes that are caused by their behavior. You're not a bellhop and you don't have to carry their baggage.  Respectively, if anyone in your life, doctor's office, school, present, past (you get the point) or even on social media is turning you the wrong way then unfollow or just don't engage.  Maybe you have been "friends" for a while or maybe they have helped you out in the past; however, if that help has now become a co-dependency of sorts you may want to re-evaluate that. Is it now a form of silent bullying if you're not going with their flow? Are you constantly being "guilted" into doing things or having conversations that make you uncomfortable?  You don't have to. You're the boss of you! Let it go!

* Balance and Down Time - Take time for you. Take time for your family as well.  Social media will be here when you get back.  I can't always get out due to my health, but I do enjoy music, movies and even just rest. I turn off my sounds, notifications and the ringer on my phone and sleep in until the pain in my body makes me get up. Even one extra hour or two in the morning is just the thing I need to create a healthy head space. Our cells regenerate while we sleep. Place some essential oils in a diffuser, sprinkle them on your pillow, run a warm bath or take a nice hot shower. These are simple things you can do for you that do not require getting dressed or using too many spoons or funds to do. Sometimes some good quality "you" time does a body good. 



There are so many other things that I can share and I will continue to do so as I am able. I would like to hear how you have lived a healthy, stress free life (pre-diagnosis too).  How have you embraced your journey and how do you cope, thrive and lift your spirits each and every day? Every day isn't going to be magnificent. Every day isn't going to be horrendous either.  Our life is filled with four major categories where we can place everything from our own personal thoughts, self talk, physicians, relationships, groups, religious affiliations, exercise routine, diet and so on. They either add, subtract, multiply or divide.  May you be ever encouraged to look at this year and fill up the add and multiply category while stepping farther away from anything that subracts or divides in your life.  

See, it's not always about being positive.  I am grateful for, focus on and place what time and energy I do have into adding and multiplying into the world around me.  Hopefully, I am not only successful but moreso significant in the lives that I am so honored to be a part of. 

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey! I am grateful for YOU!

#attitudeofGratitude #PracticemakestheDailyeasier #IBelieveinYou #IbelieveinME
#Significant #GainingSpoons #Refocus #FindingourPurpose #LivingourDream

When we live with #chronicillness of any kind, we often encounter negativity from the outside world. Often times our families  dismiss our illness or fail to even educate themselves of our struggles.  Our friends who were once by our side during our days of #health have seemed to slip away while we spend countless hours in and out of doctors' offices, hospitals and institutions seeking answers or being subjected to myriad of tests, scans and the like. Even our own physicians tend to waiver from "hopeful" to "passive" as they run out of either attempted diagnoses or treatment options depending upon our cases.  Support groups can either be a blessing or a curse and come with rules or restraints that some find cumbersome.  Most have made beautiful friendships that have aided them in their journeys and have gained much knowledge otherwise unfound even in their own physician appointments.  

​The life of the #chronicallyill is for the strong, often times referred to as a #warrior, and one who has tenacity, perseverance and will power to endure such a tedious "race" - so to speak. There are many hurdles and obstacles to overcome. Frequently, fingers are pointed at negative comments, diagnoses, memes, articles and so on; however, what if one of the greatest mountains to conquer is actually staring us in the face each and every day? What if it's us? Are we disrespecting ourselves in our daily lives? Are we putting ourselves down and playing into the very thing we despise? Have we given in to the lies and the lines fed to us by our family, friends, groups, those who do not nor will they ever understand the life of a chronically ill warrior? Could we be our own worst enemy? Are we causing negative and toxic emotional wakes in our own minds, emotions and bodies every single day which are contributing to an on-going decrease in our own health? Have we become our own poison? In turn, are we poisoning those around us without even realizing "we" have become "them"?

A great way to discover this would be to go through your phone, private messages, emails, social media posts or ask someone extremely close to you who will be honest with kindess.  You will be able to see within your own writings and read your own tone with a visual presence to see if you have fallen into a habit of self deprecating behavior.  Living with any chronic illness is extremely stressful. Studies have shown that people living with chronic illness are prone to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.  This is not uncommon and there are ways to overcome it, if you are willing.  You are not alone.  No one can pour out of an empty cup and hurting people hurt people.  The most important thing is to heal yourself first to prevent you from perpetuating the creation of negative wakes or triggering hurt in the lives of those around you.  The process takes time, requires developing self awareness and most often the assistance of a professional therapist, counselor, psychologist and / or psychiatrist - yet it is most certainly achievable.  Believe me, I know.

In the theme of sharing education, information and affirmation within our blog posts, we thought we would shed some light on this topic of self love and living with chronic illness.  Life isn't always a bowl of cherries.  Not everyone is born with a "positive" gene. We aren't suggesting that everyone always remain superficially positive.  That isn't real nor is it helpful. Learning how to seek the good in life while embracing chronic illness does have health benefits overall as we have done some research for you.  We are including some links regarding the physical benefits and psychological effects of a positive mindset.  Balance is a must.  Self Love is a journey and well worth it. Therapy is extremely cathartic and aides in releasing toxic emotions built up due to many reasons either caused by ourselves, the outside world, illness etc.  A strong support system, be it in a group setting, personal 1-on-1's, online connections and so on, will strengthen you even further while you continue on your journey and lighten anyone's load. 

Our hope for all who battle chronic illness is that each person loves themselves first, so that they will be able to love the next person just as much, creating a ripple effect which will change the world.  May you find the strength to let go of anything toxic in your life, even if it is your own self talk and begin walking in your freedom today.  You are treasured, you are cherished and you are LOVED!

​Links:

Happiness and Health - Harvard Edu

​Positive Thoughts and Depression - LiveScience

Positivity and Health - John Hopkins
​

​Happy #Warrior #Wednesday! We had a slight computer glitch so we are posting on #Thankful #Thursday.  Thank you for your understanding.

​We thought we would do something different this week.  During one of our recent "GO LIVES" with Glitter Queens Global we had a conversation surrounding free ideas where everyone could get involved and feel a part of all of the joy that the season brings.  We are all about spreading the love and finding ways to include everyone! With your permission we have compiled a list of not only our home suggestions but also the marvelous ideas given in both lives with many thanks to you.  We hope that everyone can find something within this list that will be a blessing to another.  Perhaps, you will begin a family tradition not only during the Holiday Season but all year through.  We wish you much health, happiness and so much love always.  It is not about the gift but about the heart of the giver.  Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa and so many merry wishes surrounding any festivities you may be celebrating this year!

​Share the love this Holiday Season without stretching your wallet:

​* Make homemade cards for Hospital programs both adults and children

​* Send email greetings / voice greeting or personalized videos

​* Write a poem / song

​* Draw a personalized picture / paint or color a premade coloring page

​* Dance to your favorite song / perform a skit and post or send to family & friends

​* Make homemade crockpot potpourri

​* Make homeade ornaments from items around the house (plastic, glass, garland, glitter, stencil the outside or paint, use stencils or personalize it by writing names on them)

​* Create a homamade piece of nail art using scraps of wood from around the house. Draw your design on the wood, paint, hammer nails into place and wrap on string.

​* Write a special quote on a piece of paper and decorate to the individuals personal style
(this one costs a stamp to mail)

​* Place a phone call, send a text, skype or voice / video chat to spread the love & holiday spirit

​* Have the kids sing a holiday song, do a skit or video and post or send to brighten up someones day

​* Make an abstract mobile from a wire hanger. Personalize it with photos, key chains, art prints, post cards, or any item that reminds you of them or vice versa!

​* Wrap scarves and hats with a warm note around trees for the homeless especially when cooler weather is approaching.

​* Take a neighbor food / something to drink or visit another who may be alone

​* Make a coupon book filled with things that you can do for another

​* Sing or write a song / play something on an instrument

​* Sign (ASL) to music for the hearing impaired

* Bake cookies or a holiday treat and give to those who can enjoy


​There are so many ways to give back not only during the Holidays but throughout the year without requiring purchase.  The suggestions given by our beautiful community members are extremely heart warming and filled with love and creativity!   We hope you all enjoy them as much as we have.  Happy Thursday and may your season be bright. 

#HolidayCheer #Love #nopurchaserequired #GivingHeart #Giftsabound #Fromustoyou
​#MerryMerryalltheWay #HoHoHo #Hannakuh #Christmas #Kwanzaa